More scribbles, than blog. More soul, than mind. More heart, than reason.

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Vagina for sale?

My body is not a commodity. It is my body, the place for my soul, mind and heart to live. It is the source of my life. You cannot compare it to a vehicle or jewelry. It is not like buying a car or insuring your valuables. My body is not a place for your legislations and rules. My body is lawless. You have no idea what it has been though; the pain it has endured. People have tried to hurt my body, yet the most suffering came at my own expense. I internalized and believed you all. My mind was full of rotten ideas, heart full of hate and soul full of poison. I believed all your boxes and binaries and diets and behaviors. I stopped dreaming and started copying. I wanted to shape and form myself into an attractive and pleasing creature, the kind that everyone likes. Something easy to swallow, no sharp edges or hidden curves. I existed in that mould for some years. Levitating in a trans of suppressed emotions and memories. But the guilt never felt right – the guilt you put on me for every experience I had endured. It was my own fault, I asked for it, what was I thinking in being there at that hour, he is just a man. But I am just a woman, I used to believe. But I am a woman, I believe now. Now I breathe womanhood into everything I do, because that is the essence of my strength. You will blame me for the doings of others, you will take the worth of my humanity away and compare It to material things. You will keep invalidating my pain, yet I will push through your ceilings of lies, guilt and hate. Remember, I am no weak flower, though fire I will rise.

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